Unemployment is stressful – there’s no way around it. And the longer a person is unemployed, and the more unsuccessful job interviews and job applications he or she goes through, the more stress symptoms will occur: worry, sadness, anger, and even clinical depression. So how do you combat this debilitating process and stay positive through a long job search?
A recent USA Today/Gallup poll suggests that the key to minimizing stress symptoms is hopefulness. Among those polled, unemployed workers who felt hopeful that they would not have to take a job they didn’t want, and that they would find a job soon, were more likely to maintain a sense of wellbeing and avoid the devitalizing effects of job search stress.
So how do you sustain hope? As a psychologist, I think there is a more important “hope” to sustain than that you will find a job you like or a job within the next few weeks. And that is the hope that things will turn out well.
Find Positives in Your Life
It is easy to become focused on the daily pressures and concerns, and lose sight of the big picture. Of course it is important to find a job, but you must put this concern into perspective.
What is truly important to you in life? Work, yes, but possibly also family, friends, achievement, using your talents, helping others, making the world a better place, self-respect, having fun? One aspect of your life is temporarily derailed, but many other parts of your life can continue to thrive.
Make a list of the positive aspects of your life, that you can feel good about. For example:
- I have a strong relationship with my spouse.
- I have wonderful children.
- I am in good health; my family is in good health.
- I have good friends who stand behind me.
- I am smart and capable.
- I have talents that someone will appreciate.
- I have a strong spiritual faith.
Focus on those positive aspects of your life, to balance the stress of job searching.
Develop Coping Statements You Truly Believe
Coping statements are encouraging things that you tell yourself to help you cope with a stressful situation. There’s no point in telling yourself unreasonable Pollyannish coping statements, like “It’s not important whether I find a job I like.” You won’t believe yourself.
But there are plenty of coping statements that are true, and that you can truly believe. These statements can have real power to help you keep a positive attitude. Here are some examples:
- Eventually I will find something – it’s just a matter of time.
- If I have to take a job I don’t want, it will be a temporary strategy – sooner or later I’ll get my career back on track.
- Things could be a lot worse (I could have cancer, my house could burn down, my spouse or child could be killed in a vehicular accident.)
- I’ve been blessed with many good things in my life (my health, my family and friends, my favorite hobby.)
- I’ve gotten through hard times before – I can deal with this.
- Life means change – and change can lead to good things.
- I’m more than my job – I’m also a good (spouse, friend, parent, person), and that is still intact.
Strengthen your hope that things will turn out well
Once you have identified the positive factors in your life, and have written out some coping statements that you truly believe, you need to begin strengthening your positive and hopeful perspective on your life. You do this by daily practice.
Each day, you should read through your lists and remind yourself that each positive factor and each coping statement is true. Choose one to really think about and dwell on for a while.
Before an interview or job application, go over your list to remind yourself that getting this job is important, but it will not be the end of the world if you don’t. You will feel more confident and self-assured.
Any time you get really discouraged, allow yourself to experience your feelings for a short while, because the feelings are valid. Then get out your lists and put things back into perspective.
So you may have to temporarily settle for a job you don’t want; and you may not find a job within the next few weeks. But you still have many good things in your life, and eventually you will regain or redirect your career. You don’t know what the future holds, but with a positive attitude, you can make the best of whatever comes.
